Resistance to what is.
Resistance to what is.
A blog article from Dr. Gail Brenner, Clinical Psychologist.
It’s our natural, awakened state to resist nothing. When the illusion of separation is seen through, there’s simply the free flow of experience continually welcoming everything. There is no threat, no fear, and no sense of a person who needs to avoid or defend. It’s effortless.
But add in human reactions, fears, desires, and expectations, and the world divides into the duality of inner and outer, acceptable and unacceptable—otherwise known as human suffering. If you want to know the luminous peace of your true nature, then get to know how and when you resist. What is resistance? It’s an activity of the agitated mind that says a resounding, “NO!” to your present moment experience. It’s a desire to cling to some experiences and push others away—a desire for things to be different than they are. Take a moment to reflect: What feelings do you resist? Where in your life do you say no to what’s actually appearing? Where do you want or expect things to be different than they are?Someone wrote to me recently saying she hates the the way she feels when she wakes up in the morning, with too much tension and too many worrisome thoughts. Hating your experience is resisting, and resisting is a recipe for feeling stuck. You’re locked in a fight with what’s happening, leaving no room for the experience itself to shift or move. Resisting energizes the experience rather than giving it the liberating space it needs to come and go without attachment. We’re masters at resisting our experience. How do you resist? Here are some possibilities: Compulsive behaviors such as overeating, excessive use of alcohol or drugs, excessive shopping, texting, or gossiping, being too busy or preoccupied to be present with your experience, recycling thoughts of worry, judgment, complaining, or blame, resenting how you feel, or waiting for or hoping that things will change. The common motive behind all of these behaviors is to keep you from relaxing with your present moment experience. How can you possibly know the peace of your true nature if your own experience is an enemy? What’s the alternative? You make the sacred choice to stop the outward momentum, slow things down, and lovingly turn inward. Things now have space to shift as you create a new and loving relationship with what arises. Instead of hating what’s happening, you’re friendly, open, and curious. You let things be as they are. You become the welcoming presence that ends the inner war with your experience. Why not try it out so you know how it feels? Simply go inward and say a warm and loving hello to any thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations that are present. Breathe and stay… The mind quiets as the one who wants to resist starts to fall away. With no attention to the story in your thoughts, you're one with what appears, loving it with a warm embrace like a long-lost child coming home. And here you are as awakened awareness…radiant, open, and resisting nothing…